Tag Archives: happiness

Convert your negative energy!

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How many times have you found yourself feeling frustrated at others for not having met your expectations? How many times have you been angry at the government, at the system, at your boss, at your friends for things they have done and wondered how you could change that.

The above lines pretty much describes my experiences. There are many occasions where I so much crave for control over others’ actions. Obviously, thats a foollish thought. One can control no one but his/her own thoughts. I have now realized that there is no point bickering about things and being angry – It only hampers my growth.

What I now do is to channelize the very same negative energies like aggression and anger into a positive energy. I believe that any kind of emotion, be it negative or positive – is a form of energy. Only difference is that negative emotions suck energy from you and positive energy spreads. So if I channelize the negative energy towards a positive thought, what happens is that I have transformed my negative energy and utilized it.

When I am using that very aggression towards a positive thought, by showing agression in getting that goal completed, or if I channelize that anger over the system and use that to make a difference in the community, I have outgrown my negative energies and at the same time I have tread on a positive path.

Anything and everything that we seek comes only with practice. So if we keep practicing this technique, we will be able to completely remove negativity from our lives.

Wish you a happy life.

-Raj

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Remove anger, Improve the quality of life!

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Everyone of us is aware of the fact that anger is not good for our physical as well as mental health. We are also aware that the consequence of an angry reaction is not positive. Yet, we choose to react angrily in a situation that either provokes us or we are not happy with.

Everyone of us faces some situation or another on a day to day basis, where we are provoked and as a reaction, we choose to become angry at the person or situation. Angry or Irritated reaction tends to come naturally in situations where one has no control over. And the situation does not necessarily have to be extreme. Of course, there are situations where it looks justified.

The truth is that, however justified we may feel, anger does no good to the person venting it as well as the person receiving it. It instead only worsens the situation. Not convinced?

Jog your memory and picture any recent situation where you reacted angrily. Try to recollect the reaction of the person you were angry with. What was the outcome? Was the purpose solved? Did the situation get sorted after your angry reaction. In all probability, the answer would be in the negative.

Here’s why. The simple fact remains that even though you may be right, no body – yes, no body likes being yelled at, even if he is completely in the wrong.The consequence of an angry reaction is contrary to what you may expect. It in all probability will only worsen the situation.

When one is in anger, the person does not have control over his thoughts and he may unknowingly hurt the other person’s feelings. Further, the person facing the heat will never listen and accept an angry reaction. He will either deny the situation or completely ignore what you have to say. So what’s the point of all this? You have ended up wasting your energy, increased your blood pressure and heart rate, you have just spoiled your mood, and yet you are in no control of the situation. And yet, the situation has not improved any bit. If on the other hand, if the reaction would have been softer and one of understanding, there definitely could have been some resolution, you definitely would have seen some cooperation from the other person.

On a daily basis, I come across situations where I naturally react in anger. This was the situation when I was not as enlightened. Now with experience, I understand that if I show anger it is of no purpose, in fact, in all probability it only affects me – my health and my thoughts. So, now I choose to react either politely or not react at all. I choose the latter option with strangers, with people who I don’t know. For example, when I am driving and I see an obvious obstruction, I just calm myself and show him a stern face. When I am in a queue and see a person barging in, I just sternly say ask him to follow the queue. And when it comes to near and dear ones, friends or people who I know well, I side step anger by reacting in a polite manner and patiently explaining them the situation. This seems to work wonders, trust me.

I have found the key to peace of mind and good health. Try what I do and so will you.

Wish you a happy life…

-Raj

Expect more from yourself and least from others!

purposeIt is easy to say “do not have expectation from anyone.” But its easier said than done! In any married relationship, high level of expectations are bound to exist. So what is the best way to cope with one’s expectations of others? There’s a simple principle – expect more from yourself than from others!

The essential thing to keep in mind is that although the expectations may be justified, one should realize that all expectations may not be fulfilled by his/her spouse. So when reality sets in, since you already realize that all your expectations may not get fulfilled, it is easier to accept.

I believe: “Have the least expectations from others and the highest expectations from yourself.” That is the right path to happiness and growth.

When one has the least expectations from others (by realizing that all his expectations may not be fulfilled), and things do not happen as one realizes, he is already prepared for this, so is able to accept the reality. When one has too many expectations from others and expects all to be fulfilled, the person gets hurt when they do not get filled some times, which hurts the relationship in turn.

On the other hand, I believe that one must have high expectations from oneself. This is very essential to one’s growth. If I do not have expectations to reach my goals, if I do not expect myself to perform or if I do not expect myself to become a better person, then I am not using my potential to the highest. If I have high expectations from myself, I will strive more and more to reach my goals, to be a performer and to become a better person.

So for peace of mind, realize that all your expectations (although justified), from the other person may not be fulfilled. And for one’s growth and excellence one  should have high levels of expectations from oneself. So expect more from yourself and the lesser expectations from others.

Here’s wishing you all the excellence you desire!

-Raj

See things through a child’s eyes!

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Every person who is frustrated with the trials of life has a lot of questions, such as “Why me?”, “Why should all these problems find me?”, “What have I done wrong to be shown all the wrong sides of life?” I am sure you will agree with me on this.

Many a times I have found myself pondering why everyone of us seems to be caught in some kind of problem, stress or trouble; why almost everyone of us seem to think that we are being tested!

Once I was watching a 3 year old child playing. She was so lost in her own merry world she was not even aware who was watching her, not bothered what everyone else was doing, happy on her own. The infant was creating a tower from those plastic cubes and suddenly the tower collapsed. The child was disappointed but started all over again. And this went on and on and on.

At that age, for that kid all her worries were about exploring the things around her, playing with her toys and enjoying the time. While she was at her task, although there were many times when she couldn’t reach her goal, she would start all over again – all in fun and positive spirit.

Then it flashed to me. When we were  kids, even we  were like that child – lost in our own world and making merry even when the tower falls down. A child does not understand ego, a child does not understand attitude problems, a child is free from false pride. As the child grows and imbibes a little understanding of the world, he is no longer the same innocent child.

The transformation from child to a young adult and then again from adolescence to an adult brings a lot of exposure and during the process the adult who once was an innocent child has learnt/created the concept of jealousy, anger, hatred, irritability, comparison, ego, and various other negative attributes.

When this flashed to me, I realised that as a person’s understanding and maturity increases, his problems increase. Not because he is not capable of handling them, but because he has created them because of his very own maturity. If he retained the same innocence and the spirit when he was a child, a lot of his so called problems will not seem that way.

So what is required is a change in perspective. The very ingredient called maturity that supposedly enables us make decisions better, is an hindrance. We think a lot about what others will think about us.

And that’s where the problems start. When we complicate things for ourselves, we see only problems but forget that it was self-created in the first place. So what is required is to take a look at things like a child would and move on.

That little kid enlightened me by just being herself and I sure hope this piece was worth your time reading it.

God bless.

-Raj Bokdia

Purposeful Life – Happy Life

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There have been moments when I would be deep in thought, pondering “What is the purpose of this life? What is the reason I am here?” and many more variations of such thoughts would meander in my mind. This was a long, long time ago when I was in my mid-teens.

Now in my late twenties, I have matured enough, and learned enough to realize that this life has been blessed on me to grow as a human as only a human can be. I had attended one of the discourses of a Jain monk in our community one day who gave an enlightening speech about the need to be spiritually connected.

From him I realized that being born as a human is the highest blessing a soul can get. Humans have the potential next to none other form of life in this entire universe. A man can become an angel or a devil, whichever he chooses.

As I have grown in age and maturity, I have learnt and still learning the true purpose of this human life. When I see so many people live a life less privileged, I realize that the purpose of life is to help others in need.

When I see the self inflicted sorrow in people’s lives, I realize that the purpose of this human life is not to stagnate but to grow in character, personality and integrity.

When I see the evil acts of people lost in greed, I realize that this life has been blessed on me to detach myself from materialism and reach for a higher goal: Nirvana!

In other words, I have now discovered that to traverse this  journey called life with the highest clarity and the most pure thoughts, to strive for growth and to reach the highest peaks of contentment  is the purpose of this life!

I look forward to your thoughts.

– Raj

Live In The Now!

image002Today is not yesterday. And yesterday is not tomorrow. Every day is different. The best way to savor every moment is to take it as it comes and be happy in the moment. You have to leave all your forward planning in the sack sometimes to enjoy the NOW.

Life is not a journey from one destination to another; it is rather an experience. Life cannot be measured only with successes and failures. There is more to life than just black or white, up or down, this or that!

Why do we have to say I will be happy when I get from here to there, when I become that, when I get that, etc. etc. Why does life has to be dependent on external or materialistic factors for us to be happy? Happiness comes from contentment and internal abundance. That’s the magic of life. That’s the way life is.

So be in the moment, enjoy the moment like it is your last and forget all the worries and problems as soon as they happen. The way you feel is your choice. No one can make you angry unless you choose to. No one can make you jealous until you choose to. So, go ahead enjoy the life’s spontaneity and live the now!

-Raj Bokdia