Category Archives: Positive Experience

Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara – Lessons Learnt from the Movie

Disclaimer: This is not a review of the movie “Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara.”

Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara (ZNMD) is a refreshing movie. It’s an enjoyable movie that throws you back to your college/bachelorhood days. That’s not the only reason this movie works for me. This movie has some inspiring moments – moments that make you think and analyze if this is what you want in your life.

Three Inspirations from the Movie

1. Dare or Die in Fear

The group of three friends decide to take on the trip of their lifetime; they decide to take up on an adventure sport of their choice turn by turn. The sport that one guy picks is a surprise for the other two, and they have to partake in the dare no matter what. They experience deep sea diving, sky diving and running of the bulls. Each game that they try, tests their deepest fears.

The Lesson: We can’t t experience the magic of life if we stay boxed in fears. Fear in any form, be it fear of heights, fear of water, fear of dark, fear of failure or fear of losing someone, is only detrimental to our progress in life. The only way to remove the fear is to indulge in the activity that we fear the most. In the movie, the guy who is petrified of deep sea diving fears it only until he actually does it. Once he takes the plunge, he is transformed and feels that it was the best experience of his life.

2. If Tomorrow Never Comes

One of the protagonists, Arjun (played by Hrithik) has a motto – work, work and work, make tons of money and retire at the age of forty. Purpose? So he could enjoy his life after 40 in financial freedom. In a casual conversation with his diving instructor, he realizes that there’s no surety that he’d live up to the age of forty. All his adult life, he’d been slogging hard so he could live happily after forty. However, he realizes, happiness is in living today.

The Lesson: The sooner we realize that life is not in chasing success, but in making the most of today, the happier our lives can become. What’s the point of making money at the cost of relationships? What’s the point of fame at the cost of character? What’s the point of comfort and luxury at the cost of an unhealthy body? Absolutely nothing. The only way to live this life is to make every moment of today count. The today’s that we waste will have a huge negative bearing on our tomorrow’s.

3. Live your Life

The most emphatic point of the movie reveals itself at the climax. The protagonists are in the last leg of their adventure and its a dare that they are not sure they would survive. They decide to participate in “running of bulls” game (encierro in Spanish), where the participants run in front of a group of bulls let lose. And that’s when the threesome vouch to do something they were evading all their lives.

The Lesson: Life is unpredictable. You never know if you’re going to wake up to see another tomorrow. Why leave life’s important decisions to tomorrow? Why procrastinate? What has to be done has to be done. Then why not today! Why waste time thinking, planning and fearing the what if’s. Coz Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara – You won’t get to live this life again!

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6 Things that will Never Lose Value

Recently I read a post by a friend that talks about how the law of diminishing returns does not necessarily apply to all the things. He then enumerates some things that will never lose value from his perspective. Inspired by his thoughts, I will here enumerate a few things that will never lose value in my life.

  1. People with a positive attitude – Who doesn’t love the company of people who can rub on you some of their positivity? They are very refreshing and addictive. Right from the way they think to the way they behave, every action of theirs is worth learning from. Children are the most positive of all people. They just love the way they are, oblivious of others and what they think. If only all of us could retain that child like exuberance, innocence and energy, the world would be a lot different. The existence of positive people keeps that hope alive.
  2. People with who you can be yourself without any pretensions This is a personality trait that is rare and very valuable and is certainly something that will never lose value for me. Although being yourself is a trait that should come from within, there are only a fair few people in everyone’s life that we are comfortable with. A friend, a sibling, a parent, a colleague – it could be anyone. Anyone with who you are so comfortable that you can speak your mind without worrying that the other person would mistake you – how liberating is that! I cherish such people in my life and can’t thank God enough for bringing such souls in my life.
  3. Seeing the twinkle in the eyes of your parents – Nothing beats making your parents proud. You don’t have to become a billionaire to make your parents proud. If a person can live a life as a good human being, if one can stick to the good values that her parents have instilled in her, and if a person can make a positive difference to even one life, I’m sure any parent would be as proud as when you hit the milestones in the realm of materialism.
  4. Listening to your favorite songs – I just love listening to calming and soothing songs. No matter how many times I listen to the same song, I never tire. That’s the magic of songs that you really love listening to. They are a great companion as they they calm you, energize you, and mesmerize you.
  5. Holding your partner’s hands – There’s a lot that can be communicated by holding my partner’s hands without having to utter even a word. It is almost like meditation. For me, it would never lose value no matter how many times I hold my partner’s hand.
  6. Watching your child grow – Ever since my son has entered my life, my life has never been the same – every day has been fascinating, inspiring and filled with love. I just can’t forget the moment he entered this world and can’t forget the cherished memories that we have together created. I love watching him be himself as he learns newer and newer things by the day.

So what are the things that never lose value for you? Feel free to share your thoughts!

Love life by Living it, and Live life by Loving it!

Yesterday, I had a fabulous realization that manifested in the form of a thought – “Love life by Living it, and Live life by Loving it!” I instantly shared it as a facebook status. However, I realized there’s  much more to this line than just being a facebook status.

So what exactly does loving one’s life mean? And how exactly does loving one’s life count as have having lived it and not any other way? This can be explained by understanding the two main pillars that comprise that quote .

Love Love starts with my own self. If I can’t love myself, I can’t love anyone else. When a person can’t love his own self the way he is, there’s no way he can love others the way they are. Loving one’s self is not about staring the mirror all day in self-praise; that’s vanity. Loving the self is about knowing your good and bad; its about accepting your flaws and striving to become a better person;  its about sticking to the values that one holds no matter what. From acceptance comes love and from love grows self-esteem, in which rests the seed of confidence. And I don’t have to add what confidence (not over-confidence) can do to a person’s life.

Life – Life in its basic sense is signified by the mechanism of the beating heart. Until the heart beats, the person lives in the physical reality. However, there’s much more to life than just the beating heart. For me, I have lived my life if I can say yes to the following questions:

  1. Are my days filled by doing things that I am most passionate about?
  2. Have I made some positive contribution to the betterment of even ONE life in any way?
  3. Have I made whole-hearted efforts to become a  better person?

If the answer to all these questions is in the affirmative, it signifies that I have truly lived my life.

So I love myself and I am living in the true sense. Is that all there is to it? Well, absolutely. If I have lived every moment of my life by filling each day with love (for the self and others), passion (towards what I like doing the most)  empathy (self-explanatory), and many other such positive virtues, I have truly loved this life. And when I love my life, only then am I living it!!!

So what do you think? Is there anything that can be added here? Feel free to let me know.

-Wishing you a loving day ahead!
Raj

Think before you say you “don’t have time!”

Time has always been a precious commodity. In this fast paced and fast changing world, it has become the most precious of all. Wherever you go, whoever you meet is always on a “time crunch”. “I don’t have time…” seems almost like the “in-thing” to say. Even I have found myself saying this same phrase many a times. Looking back, it seems to me that it’s not at all true. In fact it is not at all possible. When someone is unable to manage his time or if she is not good at prioritizing her commitments, the situations for “I don’t have time…” will be aplenty!

Time management is but an essential skill that one must possess. Why? One must find time for all the things in life – one cannot stay focused on one aspect of life and forget the rest. You have job, you have a family, you have social commitments, you have friends, you have your personal interests – each of these is as essential as the other. If one focuses on his business/job – so much so that one can’t find time for the family – then the success in your career is coming at the cost of your relationship.

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In my case it so happened that I was so occupied in expanding my business that I “couldn’t find time” for even calling up my friends. That had a bad effect. Friends who I was close to felt I was no longer close. All this because of my ignorance. Only after this do I realize that things do add up. If I am moving up in one aspect of my life, I must never neglect the other aspect.

I now realize that this kind of self talk – that “I don’t have time…” goes on to become a self fulfilling prophecy. When you think you don’t have time, you eventually believe it to be true. When you believe that as a fact, your actions/reactions will be in accordance with the belief that you are running out of time. The result of all this is complete chaos and mayhem, like what happened in my case as outlined above. All the while that you have been “coping with time” you have in fact wasted a lot of time in just grappling and coming to terms. Apart from that think of the relationships that have caught rust, the erstwhile friendships, the once upon a time bonding, the effect on your health – basically if you are preoccupied with one or a few selected aspects of your life – the rest get affected – that is the cost that you pay for “not finding time”

It’s never too late once realization sets in. The only thing remaining is to take corrective action. I have taken my first steps. How about you?

Convert your negative energy!

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How many times have you found yourself feeling frustrated at others for not having met your expectations? How many times have you been angry at the government, at the system, at your boss, at your friends for things they have done and wondered how you could change that.

The above lines pretty much describes my experiences. There are many occasions where I so much crave for control over others’ actions. Obviously, thats a foollish thought. One can control no one but his/her own thoughts. I have now realized that there is no point bickering about things and being angry – It only hampers my growth.

What I now do is to channelize the very same negative energies like aggression and anger into a positive energy. I believe that any kind of emotion, be it negative or positive – is a form of energy. Only difference is that negative emotions suck energy from you and positive energy spreads. So if I channelize the negative energy towards a positive thought, what happens is that I have transformed my negative energy and utilized it.

When I am using that very aggression towards a positive thought, by showing agression in getting that goal completed, or if I channelize that anger over the system and use that to make a difference in the community, I have outgrown my negative energies and at the same time I have tread on a positive path.

Anything and everything that we seek comes only with practice. So if we keep practicing this technique, we will be able to completely remove negativity from our lives.

Wish you a happy life.

-Raj

Neutral Reactions – Positive Life

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I have realized over time how essential it is to be able to be in the positive frame of mind in all circumstances. I have realized that the way I react to a scenario, has a direct impact on my behavior and mood. I have also realized that I have control over my thoughts, that I have control over how I react in different circumstances.

But this is now. When I wasn’t so enlightened, even small things that didn’t go my way would make me irritable and angry. As a consequence, my mind would be filled with all sorts of thoughts of remorse, regret and “If only I had done this the other way…” kind of justifications. All this would only lead to negativity.

On hindsight, I have now realized that the best way to handle any situation is to stay neutral. This only comes with practice. So the best way is to practice with small things as well as even in positive circumstances. If one has to think neutral, he/she has to be so in all situations – positive or negative or else it will not be as effective.

If I can be neutral to any circumstance, be it positive or negative, I am better equipped to handle any unforeseen circumstance. When I say be neutral, I am not saying to not react at all.

For every positive circumstance be glad, but don’t go overboard and get overconfident or proud. Find out what you did right and keep that in your memory. Accepting all successes and positive circumstances humbly is a great way to stay neutral. Similarly, for every negative incident, one doesn’t need a week’s isolation and self-remorse to recover. Instead the best thing to do is to accept the situation. Pick out the lesson, and have faith in your abilities.

So when we are better able to cope with negativity and are neutral in even the brightest of moments, we are programming our mind to see both sides of the coin as normal and manageable. This better equips us to cope with all situations better and accept reality easily and quickly.

Best wishes

-Raj

Good or Bad – Every incident has a Positive experience!

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Failure and Success, Good and bad experiences,  and Sorrow – all these are a part of life. No one’s life is perfect; so sometimes you see happiness and some times you see the other side.

I have learnt from my experiences and strongly believe that whatever decisions we take is our choice but the resulting consequence is not our choice. So when we have made a choice and the resultant consequence, even if it turned out to be sour – the first thing to do is take responsibility for it.

The next step is to take out the good experience from it and trash the junk. Every experience in one’s life – be it good or bad, successful or failure definitely brings something good or put in other words – we need to find the gem in the dust and separate it.

From my experience in my career I have found that even if the result of your choice was a negative one, the right thing to do is to rise up, pick out the positive thoughts and experience from the incident and go at it with all new faith and optimism. Whatever happened has happened, but what happens next is our choice. The right way ahead is to seek the positive experience even from a negative incident. Only this way do we grow as a person and can we cross the bridge towards success.

Look forward to your thoughts!

– Raj Bokdia