Category Archives: Marriage

Secret of a Happy Married Life – Expectations

The one emotion everyone wants to experience from a marriage – for that matter from any relationship – is HAPPINESS. Now what is the SECRET of a happy married life and a “happily ever after” marriage?

Well, the answer is within us. There is a simple principle that can untangle many issues – rather simplify things – in any relationship. That principle relates to the concept of “expectations”. Expectations are bound to be present in any relationship. However, we might not realize that this very thing is the seed to a lot many problems in a relationship.

Instead of saying “I expect my spouse to do this errand in this manner…”, “I expect that my spouse behaves in this manner…”, if we turned it and said to ourselves “I should do something for her…”, “If I did this, she’d be glad…!” YES! Turn your expectations to yourself from yourself rather than from your spouse/partner.

Like you expect your other half to do certain things, it is but obvious that your partner also has some expectations. So if you focus on meeting his/her expectations – forget expectations – if you focus on doing your bit to keep him/her happy – the giant maze called “MARRIAGE” would become much easier to tread. And there lies the secret of a happy marriage.

But HOW? Well, its all about focus. If your focus all the time is on your expectations and unmet expectations – that’s what you see.  If instead we focused on contributing to the relationship, the aspect of what you can do for your “better half”, that brings a lot to the table. For starters, your focus has shifted from a negative to some thing positive. Second, you are contributing to the relationship – which would certainly make you happy. Thirdly, your partner would be happy to experience such a lovely surprise. It could be anything – an errand that you expect her to take care of, or perhaps something intimate, it could be anything.

So just shift focus – and see the tides of happiness and love swimming within the relationship. That according to me is the secrete of a happy married life.

Here’s to a happy marriage!
-Raj

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The Reality of Love

The definition of love seems to differ from person to person, depending on their experiences. What meaning the word “love” carries for me, could in all probabilities differ from what it means for you. So the reality of love is that it does not carry the same meaning for any 2 persons.

Similarly, the way I express love also could be different from the way you would. So when two people for who the definition of love is not necessarily the same, meet, what is the result? Have you ever thought of it?

Well of course there are no clear answers. Again, the experiences differ from person to person. It is obvious, no two people could be the same. For some, love is felt only when the other person expresses, and for some love is when they express it. The problem occurs when the person expects his partner to express their love the way they want. Well nothing wrong so far. But the partner is no God to know everything you expect without you communicating about it. Unless you express it, how would he/she know it? That is the crux of the issue.

Does not matter if the way you feel love is different from the way your partner feels. What matters is that you understand each other. This is one important aspect in any relationship. It equally applies to siblings, mother-son and even between friends. After all, when you understand the other person and know how he or she is, you will know what to expect and how to handle it. And when you are prepared for it, then nothing can come in between. That is the reality of love!!!

-Wishing you a love-filled day!
Raj