Category Archives: Live Life

Love life by Living it, and Live life by Loving it!

Yesterday, I had a fabulous realization that manifested in the form of a thought – “Love life by Living it, and Live life by Loving it!” I instantly shared it as a facebook status. However, I realized there’s  much more to this line than just being a facebook status.

So what exactly does loving one’s life mean? And how exactly does loving one’s life count as have having lived it and not any other way? This can be explained by understanding the two main pillars that comprise that quote .

Love Love starts with my own self. If I can’t love myself, I can’t love anyone else. When a person can’t love his own self the way he is, there’s no way he can love others the way they are. Loving one’s self is not about staring the mirror all day in self-praise; that’s vanity. Loving the self is about knowing your good and bad; its about accepting your flaws and striving to become a better person;  its about sticking to the values that one holds no matter what. From acceptance comes love and from love grows self-esteem, in which rests the seed of confidence. And I don’t have to add what confidence (not over-confidence) can do to a person’s life.

Life – Life in its basic sense is signified by the mechanism of the beating heart. Until the heart beats, the person lives in the physical reality. However, there’s much more to life than just the beating heart. For me, I have lived my life if I can say yes to the following questions:

  1. Are my days filled by doing things that I am most passionate about?
  2. Have I made some positive contribution to the betterment of even ONE life in any way?
  3. Have I made whole-hearted efforts to become a  better person?

If the answer to all these questions is in the affirmative, it signifies that I have truly lived my life.

So I love myself and I am living in the true sense. Is that all there is to it? Well, absolutely. If I have lived every moment of my life by filling each day with love (for the self and others), passion (towards what I like doing the most)  empathy (self-explanatory), and many other such positive virtues, I have truly loved this life. And when I love my life, only then am I living it!!!

So what do you think? Is there anything that can be added here? Feel free to let me know.

-Wishing you a loving day ahead!
Raj

Remove anger, Improve the quality of life!

meditation

Everyone of us is aware of the fact that anger is not good for our physical as well as mental health. We are also aware that the consequence of an angry reaction is not positive. Yet, we choose to react angrily in a situation that either provokes us or we are not happy with.

Everyone of us faces some situation or another on a day to day basis, where we are provoked and as a reaction, we choose to become angry at the person or situation. Angry or Irritated reaction tends to come naturally in situations where one has no control over. And the situation does not necessarily have to be extreme. Of course, there are situations where it looks justified.

The truth is that, however justified we may feel, anger does no good to the person venting it as well as the person receiving it. It instead only worsens the situation. Not convinced?

Jog your memory and picture any recent situation where you reacted angrily. Try to recollect the reaction of the person you were angry with. What was the outcome? Was the purpose solved? Did the situation get sorted after your angry reaction. In all probability, the answer would be in the negative.

Here’s why. The simple fact remains that even though you may be right, no body – yes, no body likes being yelled at, even if he is completely in the wrong.The consequence of an angry reaction is contrary to what you may expect. It in all probability will only worsen the situation.

When one is in anger, the person does not have control over his thoughts and he may unknowingly hurt the other person’s feelings. Further, the person facing the heat will never listen and accept an angry reaction. He will either deny the situation or completely ignore what you have to say. So what’s the point of all this? You have ended up wasting your energy, increased your blood pressure and heart rate, you have just spoiled your mood, and yet you are in no control of the situation. And yet, the situation has not improved any bit. If on the other hand, if the reaction would have been softer and one of understanding, there definitely could have been some resolution, you definitely would have seen some cooperation from the other person.

On a daily basis, I come across situations where I naturally react in anger. This was the situation when I was not as enlightened. Now with experience, I understand that if I show anger it is of no purpose, in fact, in all probability it only affects me – my health and my thoughts. So, now I choose to react either politely or not react at all. I choose the latter option with strangers, with people who I don’t know. For example, when I am driving and I see an obvious obstruction, I just calm myself and show him a stern face. When I am in a queue and see a person barging in, I just sternly say ask him to follow the queue. And when it comes to near and dear ones, friends or people who I know well, I side step anger by reacting in a polite manner and patiently explaining them the situation. This seems to work wonders, trust me.

I have found the key to peace of mind and good health. Try what I do and so will you.

Wish you a happy life…

-Raj

Expect more from yourself and least from others!

purposeIt is easy to say “do not have expectation from anyone.” But its easier said than done! In any married relationship, high level of expectations are bound to exist. So what is the best way to cope with one’s expectations of others? There’s a simple principle – expect more from yourself than from others!

The essential thing to keep in mind is that although the expectations may be justified, one should realize that all expectations may not be fulfilled by his/her spouse. So when reality sets in, since you already realize that all your expectations may not get fulfilled, it is easier to accept.

I believe: “Have the least expectations from others and the highest expectations from yourself.” That is the right path to happiness and growth.

When one has the least expectations from others (by realizing that all his expectations may not be fulfilled), and things do not happen as one realizes, he is already prepared for this, so is able to accept the reality. When one has too many expectations from others and expects all to be fulfilled, the person gets hurt when they do not get filled some times, which hurts the relationship in turn.

On the other hand, I believe that one must have high expectations from oneself. This is very essential to one’s growth. If I do not have expectations to reach my goals, if I do not expect myself to perform or if I do not expect myself to become a better person, then I am not using my potential to the highest. If I have high expectations from myself, I will strive more and more to reach my goals, to be a performer and to become a better person.

So for peace of mind, realize that all your expectations (although justified), from the other person may not be fulfilled. And for one’s growth and excellence one  should have high levels of expectations from oneself. So expect more from yourself and the lesser expectations from others.

Here’s wishing you all the excellence you desire!

-Raj

Live In The Now!

image002Today is not yesterday. And yesterday is not tomorrow. Every day is different. The best way to savor every moment is to take it as it comes and be happy in the moment. You have to leave all your forward planning in the sack sometimes to enjoy the NOW.

Life is not a journey from one destination to another; it is rather an experience. Life cannot be measured only with successes and failures. There is more to life than just black or white, up or down, this or that!

Why do we have to say I will be happy when I get from here to there, when I become that, when I get that, etc. etc. Why does life has to be dependent on external or materialistic factors for us to be happy? Happiness comes from contentment and internal abundance. That’s the magic of life. That’s the way life is.

So be in the moment, enjoy the moment like it is your last and forget all the worries and problems as soon as they happen. The way you feel is your choice. No one can make you angry unless you choose to. No one can make you jealous until you choose to. So, go ahead enjoy the life’s spontaneity and live the now!

-Raj Bokdia