Monthly Archives: August 2010

Action and Reaction – The Way of Life

We have always heard things like “We get what we give…”, “If we do bad deeds, we would have to face the consequences…” and so on and so forth.

So where am I getting at? Well, if every action had an equal and opposite reaction, I wonder when I express hatred to someone, would I experience love in return for my action? Not at all. The reaction could be anything, but certainly not positive. So if I have negative feelings for someone, it is almost always possible that the other person will reciprocate the feeling.

On the other hand, if I expressed love (to a friend, a dear one, parents…) for someone, a third person might not like it and I might become a target of that person’s emotions (jealousy, ego, etc). In such a scenario, your action got an equal and opposite reaction from a 3rd party! Sounds funny right? But if given a serious thought, that’s the reality.

No matter what you do, no matter how good you are as a person, there are always people who I like to call the negativity seekers. There’s a special term dedicated to such characters – energy suckers! No matter how good a deed you do, either their ego or their pessimistic nature makes them take a dig at you (either in front of your – or behind your back – which is more often the case)! There’s really nothing much you can do here, can you? The best way is to IGNORE the noise and focus on the MUSIC!

That’s what I do, and it works. If you had to keep thinking about what such people think of you, or what they said about you, just imagine the things you miss out on! They suck your energy with their negative vibes, and you sooner than later fall in their trap! In turn, you lose your peace.

So just ignore the NOISE and focus on the MUSIC and stay tuned with the rhythm of your life.

Here’s to life
–Raj

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Secret of a Happy Married Life – Expectations

The one emotion everyone wants to experience from a marriage – for that matter from any relationship – is HAPPINESS. Now what is the SECRET of a happy married life and a “happily ever after” marriage?

Well, the answer is within us. There is a simple principle that can untangle many issues – rather simplify things – in any relationship. That principle relates to the concept of “expectations”. Expectations are bound to be present in any relationship. However, we might not realize that this very thing is the seed to a lot many problems in a relationship.

Instead of saying “I expect my spouse to do this errand in this manner…”, “I expect that my spouse behaves in this manner…”, if we turned it and said to ourselves “I should do something for her…”, “If I did this, she’d be glad…!” YES! Turn your expectations to yourself from yourself rather than from your spouse/partner.

Like you expect your other half to do certain things, it is but obvious that your partner also has some expectations. So if you focus on meeting his/her expectations – forget expectations – if you focus on doing your bit to keep him/her happy – the giant maze called “MARRIAGE” would become much easier to tread. And there lies the secret of a happy marriage.

But HOW? Well, its all about focus. If your focus all the time is on your expectations and unmet expectations – that’s what you see.  If instead we focused on contributing to the relationship, the aspect of what you can do for your “better half”, that brings a lot to the table. For starters, your focus has shifted from a negative to some thing positive. Second, you are contributing to the relationship – which would certainly make you happy. Thirdly, your partner would be happy to experience such a lovely surprise. It could be anything – an errand that you expect her to take care of, or perhaps something intimate, it could be anything.

So just shift focus – and see the tides of happiness and love swimming within the relationship. That according to me is the secrete of a happy married life.

Here’s to a happy marriage!
-Raj