Monthly Archives: March 2010

Judging People by their Appearance – A Wrong Step Forward

judging a person by his appearanceWhat’s the first thing that we do when meeting a new person? We judge! Well, judging someone by their appearance is an inherent human instinct I suppose. If that was not enough, people end up making wrong judgments.

Well, this is what I have found from my experience. I am sure even I would have come in this net at some point or another. But how does someone reach conclusions? Easy question. First impressions, of course.

When we meet someone, we observe they way they are dressed, the way they talk, walk, and what not. And that observation “helps” us in making a judgment (right or wrong) about the person. Many a times, I have found that, people perceive an introvert as arrogant, and a person who sweet-talks is considered extremely friendly and a “good” person. People make judgments about someone’s status/wealth from what they wear and what they don’t.

There is obviously something wrong here. First off, it is really hard to completely understand a person from just a few minutes of acquaintance. Secondly, to judge a person from his/her external appearances could be totally misleading.

For example, how in the world would I know the difference between a conman and a genuine gentleman, assuming they both are dressed well? On the contrary, it is quite possible that I might mistake one for the other, because the conman night be skilled at pretending to be someone who he is not, and the gentleman might be aggressive-to-look-at but actually could be warmth-personified.

Although, this is a hypothetical situation, I am sure many of us would have come across such situations in real life, where we mistake a person’s character from their appearances.

I wonder how many relationships could have been saved, how many farce relationships unshackled, how many business deals might have been clinched, how many frauds could have been averted, if we were never equipped with this human-instinct of judging people from appearances!

I wonder if we never had the ability to judge people by their appearance, what could have been the pros and the cons. I have a feeling the pros would outweigh the cons. Well, the saving grace is that to judge or not to judge is still a decision that I can make. Thank God for that!

Wishing you a wonderful and positive day!



Is Silence the Answer?

How important is communication in a relationship? I am sure the answer is obvious – VERY much! Alright. But despite good communication, healthy love, and all positive things in a relationship – why do things go topsy-turvy? Hmmm! Expectations is the culprit I believe. But what’s expectations got to do with communication. Well, on a closer look, there is a deep connection.

There’s no one in this world who has no expectations (except for monks and people on a spiritual path). But how one handles the expectation is the question. Every partner has some expectations, but your partner is no God to know about your expectations. So if one does not communicate the expectations, and still expects that they be met – there are bound to be some bumps on the road. So to ensure a bump-free ride (at least on the expectations front) communication is the key!

To sum it up, silence is never an answer when it comes to expectations. Well, that’s a different matter whether your expectations are met or otherwise. Now that looks like a good topic for my next write-up 🙂

Do share your comments, suggestions and experiences!


The Reality of Love

The definition of love seems to differ from person to person, depending on their experiences. What meaning the word “love” carries for me, could in all probabilities differ from what it means for you. So the reality of love is that it does not carry the same meaning for any 2 persons.

Similarly, the way I express love also could be different from the way you would. So when two people for who the definition of love is not necessarily the same, meet, what is the result? Have you ever thought of it?

Well of course there are no clear answers. Again, the experiences differ from person to person. It is obvious, no two people could be the same. For some, love is felt only when the other person expresses, and for some love is when they express it. The problem occurs when the person expects his partner to express their love the way they want. Well nothing wrong so far. But the partner is no God to know everything you expect without you communicating about it. Unless you express it, how would he/she know it? That is the crux of the issue.

Does not matter if the way you feel love is different from the way your partner feels. What matters is that you understand each other. This is one important aspect in any relationship. It equally applies to siblings, mother-son and even between friends. After all, when you understand the other person and know how he or she is, you will know what to expect and how to handle it. And when you are prepared for it, then nothing can come in between. That is the reality of love!!!

-Wishing you a love-filled day!